2012 Race Day Rocks Awards Dinner!!

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Sadly, barren trees and the return of ski reports signify another racing season has come to an end. Nobody can complain that 2012 was not an interesting year. Sebastian Vettel and Red Bull won both F1 titles for the third consecutive year. Roger Penske won his first NASCAR Sprint Cup title.   Dale Earnhardt Jr. ended his four year winless streak then stepped out of the car in the middle of the chase to deal with concussion issues.  IndyCar struggled for relevance while annoying their remaining fans by firing Randy Bernard. Formula 1 returned to the US for the first time since 2007.

Some races were outstanding: the inaugural US Grand Prix at the Circuit of The Americas exceeded all expectations.  Some races lacked excitement: IndyCar street races and both NASCAR races at Bristol and Martinsville. At times off track issues, namely NASCAR’s continual attendance and TV ratings declines, trumped the racing.  Nobody lacked material for a good story.

But the year is officially over so in the spirit of the season, here are my season end awards

Race of the year

Kimi Räikkönen- Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

As the YouTube videos show, Kimi was in complete control. Glad to see Kimi overcame his introverted personality to clearly express his thoughts and desires during the race and post-race interviews. Winning is all about great communication. It was Kimi’s first win since he returned to F1 after his Ferrari imposed vacation

 

Celebration of the year

Brad Keselowski- NASCAR Homestead

You got to love a driver that promotes his sponsor like Brad did after he secured the NASCAR Sprint cup championship. To all those people complaining about Brad’s excessive celebration, lighten up! He did nothing wrong! He is 28 years old, accomplished a lifelong goal what only a handful of people have accomplished, and didn’t break any laws. Was he drunk? Of course he was! That is what made it so much fun!! But he showed good judgment.  At any time during the party did you ever see him drive? Nope! Not even a golf cart.  Celebrating is not a crime, drunk driving is!

Honorable Mention

Kimi Räikkönen at Abu Dhabi

The look on Kimi’s face when he drank the Rosewater on the Abu Dhabi podium was priceless. I can only imagine what thoughts ran through his head when he realized that he won a race in a country that prohibits alcoholic beverages.

 

Driver of the year

Fernando Alonso

No driver extracted more performance out of their car than Ferrari’s Fernando Alonso. Experts and journalists all agreed that this year’s Ferrari was a bad car and the fact that Fernando remained in contention for the world driving title into the last race is a testament to his driving ability.

Team of the year

Red Bull F1

With apologies to Roger Penske, congratulations on winning your first NASCAR Sprint cup title, I still point to Red Bull F1 as the team of the year. Red Bull has evolved from F1’s “party team” to arguably the most feared team on the Formula 1 grid. Amazing how much fear a balding technophobe named Adrian Newey instills in the opposition.  How much reward money would a team pay for Adrian’s sketch pad? Not only is Red Bull winning, three constructors titles in a row is a feat, but  in many cases they are dominating their more storied and better financed McLaren and Ferrari competitors.

Disaster of the year

IndyCar

If the IndyCar board could sell what they were drinking when they fired Randy Bernard, IndyCar’s money woes would disappear overnight.  Randy inherited a series that outside of the Indy 500, was so far off the radar that it needed JPL to communicate with fans and sponsors. Last year, IndyCar lost its biggest draw, Danica Patrick, a lucrative race date in China to a beer festival, and was forced to run on second-rate tracks and street courses as major promoters shied away from the series.  Loud rumors persist that title sponsor Izod will not renew their contract when it expires after 2014. Yet, with all those challenges, Randy Bernard was able to stem the losses and returned IndyCar to break even status.

And for that he was fired.

While I agree a CEO must be accountable, a leader needs more that couple of years to fix a mess of this magnitude. How long did Tony George get?  Sucks not to be family when dealing with IndyCar.

Now, I doubt any reputable leader will  accept the challenge of righting the IndyCar ship. Why accept the headaches knowing you are a political pawn in a family struggle.

One thought: If IndyCar goes bust, what happens to the Indy 500?  Can it stand alone without a championship series? Fans might soon find out.

Randy, you are better off.

 

Well that is it for now. As always, I am ready to defend my awards!!

NASCAR’s Chase is Here! My Analysis and Odds

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NASCAR’s Chase is here!! While I am I more excited about Formula 1 in Singapore under the lights, The Chase does offer interesting theater. Can Johnson win his 6th title? Can Junior win his first which would make tattoo parlors a growth industry?  Can Toyota win its first title which would send Jack Roush into orbit without his plane?  Which chase driver’s run will be wrecked by trying to pass Kyle Busch?

So many stories, so little time!

Anyway, as a huge fan of Las Vegas, the only US city smart enough to offer legal sports betting,   I am opening a fictitious sports book at my favorite hotel, The Venetian, to accept fan’s bets on the run in to the title. This is future book betting so your odds are locked in and will be updated weekly as events transpire.

Without further ado, here is The Race Day Rocks Sport Book NASCAR Chase odds and handicapping analysis.

Jimmie Johnson: 1-2. Jimmie and Chad Knaus have won 5 of the last 6 of these silly Chases so they know the game.  Even if Johnson didn’t qualify for the Chase, he would be 5/1 because I have faith Chad would find some rule loophole to get the 48 into the game.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Even.  Any other driver would normally be 8 to 1 but the fanatical Junior Nation will make a side trip to the Pawn Stars to sell all their merchandise to raise enough cash to bet with both hands. The more demand for a driver means the odds drop.  That is simple, to non-members of Junior Nation, Sports Book economics.

Tony Stewart: 3-1. Tony is not on his game heading into the chase but think back to last year when he admitted he was “Wasting a Spot”.  I won’t fall for that trick again!

Jeff Gordon: 4-1. Snuck in as a wild card entry when Kyle Busch’s crew chief forgot Good Year racing tires have short lifespans. Jeff’s fan base is similar to Junior Nation, but they won’t pawn everything and will only use one hand at the betting window since the other hand will be holding a glass of Chablis.

Kasey Kahne: 6-1. Kasey’s odds would be much lower but the majority of Kasey’s fans are teen age girls who are not old enough to enter a casino. Got to make the odds attractive to the few women who actually know what happens in a sports book.

Denny Hamlin: 4-1. Surprisingly, The 11 car is Joe Gibbs only representative in the Chase. Denny should be the favorite but has a history of not winning Chase races.  No worries about the odds being too high since most NASCAR fans would rather eat a plate of sushi than bet on a Toyota to win the chase.

Matt Kenseth: 8-1. If Matt wins The Chase without winning any of the Chase races, will NASCAR abolish the Chase for something original like having all 36 races decide the title? If so, count me in!   If Matt does win, I doubt the victory would soothe over the few remaining Ford fans who are annoyed he is defecting to Joe Gibbs to drive the most American of NASCAR rides, The Home Depot Toyota Camry.

Greg Biffle: 10-1. Other than the Ford Fanatics, most ardent NASCAR fans ask “When did Biffle qualify??” and the casual fans asks “Who’s Greg Biffle?” Fans have no faith, neither does my sports book.

Martin Truex: 12-1. This is Martins 2nd crack at the chase and while he consistently runs in the top 10, he hasn’t been a threat to win every weekend. Since Matt Kenneth owns the copyright of winning titles without winning races,  Martin would need to pay Matt royalties if he did win the Chase. But if Martin manages to pull off the upset, seeing Michael Waltrip on stage in Vegas might be worth the admission price.

Clint Bowyer:  12-1. Unless the races are held at 3AM when his 5 Hour Energy sponsorship would give his team a competitive edge, Clint is in the same boat at his team mate:  no chance. Still weird to see 2 Waltrip cars and only 1 from Gibbs in the Chase

Kevin Harvick: 15-1. With a newborn baby to care for, Kevin is probably helping former teammate Clint Bowyer’s effort by buying 5 Hour Energy by the gross. If that isn’t happening, Delana has a better chance of winning. Come to think of it, I think Delana has a better chance of winning since Kevin has no chance. Only Hendrick Chevy’s are allowed to win!

Brad Keselowski: 15-1. Brad’s odds would be lower if he wasn’t at risk of accidently getting a 22 chassis that has some left over Crystal Meth from Jeremy Mayfield or AJ Allmendingers’s Adderall lying around. Got to pass those pesky NASCAR drug tests to win a title. However, if Brad wins, how ironic would it be that the Championship trophy would be permanently displayed in Italy since FIAT announced they were leaving NASCAR at the end of the year!

So fans! Bet early and bet often and don’t get shut out!

Until next week!

The NASCAR Chase and Team Orders

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I know team orders are usually a Formula 1 phenomenon, but as the Richmond race wound down, I began to hypothesize if one of NASCAR’s biggest teams would invoke team orders to qualify a teammate for the chase.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, team orders are where one driver is instructed to do something detrimental to his effort and help his teammate. In Formula 1 where the driver hierarchy is clearly defined, the number two driver is often told to let the top driver pass even though the number two car is faster. It’s all about points for the driver’s championship. Ferrari is arguably the master at invoking team orders. Just ask Filipe Massa about “tire issues” at Monza

Richmond presented three possible scenarios were I thought team orders might be implemented

  1. If Kyle Busch needed one additional spot to pass Jeff Gordon in the points to secure the final wild-card spot, would Denny Hamlin suddenly develop a “vibration” and pit his car with two or three laps left which moves Kyle into a qualifying position? The other scenario, albeit a longshot, was if Hamlin was leading Joey  Logano and Kyle was eliminated in him, would Hamlin step aside and allow Logano to win and qualify for the Chase? The question that needs to be asked is what is more important:  A few extra bonus points for Hamlin or an additional Gibbs car in the chase? Not an easy question to answer.
  2. The Logano scenario also applied to Jack Roush and Carl Edwards. With Biffle and Kenseth already qualified, would either of them give Carl Edwards the win which would’ve qualified him for the chase? Edwards is the Roush flag bearer and arguably one of the NASCAR’s most visible Ford drivers and a very popular driver throughout all of NASCAR. Also, Edwards is connected to some very prominent NASCAR sponsors. Don’t discount that if Kyle was the bubble driver, Jack’s dislike for Toyota would weigh in the decision.
  3. The Kyle Busch scenario also applied to Hendrick racing. If Johnson, Earnhardt, or Kahne was leading with Gordon’s second, would any of them try and prevent Jeff from winning win the race and qualifying for the Chase? I doubt it. Remember, Hendrick was convicted for bribery and kickbacks so Rick has a black mark on his “Honest Sportsman “rating.

Before fans disregard any of you and him and him and him these scenarios, you need to understand that sponsorship is difficult enough to attain and many of these big teams such as Hendrick, Gibbs, and Roush sell sponsors on the fact that they are competitive in the chase. I would not be surprised if M&Ms and Subway are entitled to some form of refund after Busch and Edwards missed the chase. Of course, a devil’s advocate would say that sponsors would not want to be associated with an embarrassing situation where their driver qualified only because events were artificially manipulated.  That is fodder for a later discussion.

Unlike Formula 1, team orders are not explicitly prohibited in NASCAR’s rules. But, because NASCAR cloaks its rulebook in secrecy usually reserved for nuclear launch codes, I can’t confirm what NASCAR’s official position is on team orders. But I’ve never heard of a situation where invoking team orders were punished.  There is an “unwritten rule” that drivers are expected to compete against their teammates for wins but we have seen many examples that teammates allow each other to swap the lead in order to gain the bonus points for leading a lap.

Depending on your viewpoint, it was either fortunate or unfortunate that none of the teams were required to consider their options. Jeff Gordon’s team miraculously recovered from a horrible early race set-up but caught a huge break when Dave Rogers misinterpreted the weather radar and didn’t call Kyle in for a pit stop during the last rain shower. That miscue cost Kyle precious track position, and eventually a chase spot. Carl Edwards never threatened to take the lead throughout the evening.

Personally, I wanted to see a situation where it was advantageous for a team to invoke team orders just to see if they would do it. I would not think any differently of the team if they told a driver to let teammate pass or park the car. Ultimately, NASCAR is a team game and you cannot win the chase if a car is not qualified. Tony Stewart proved last year that qualification is all that matters. Stewart ran like crap leading up to the chase and barely qualified. Subsequently, He rattled off five wins in the chase and won the title.  Record books don’t go into details, they only report if you won or you lost. NASCAR, like all other series, is not about style points, it is about winning.

So, it’s on to the chase where 12 cars dominate the coverage and fan interest while the other 31 cars fight for coverage among friends and family because nobody else loves a loser.

Post Monza Thoughts as F1 Circus Heads East

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Here are some thoughts after the Italian Grand Prix at Monza ended this year’s European leg of Formula One season.

If I was an apartment realtor in Maranello, I would be sending my contact information to Sergio Perez today. Sergio’s second-place finish for Sauber showed he is ready to step into the major leagues. Perez says he is comfortable at Sauber and not looking to leave, but when he sees the extra zeros at the end of his paycheck, I think he will be more comfortable at Ferrari.
Monisha Kaltenborn has Sauber on its game as the tiny privateer is only 26 points behind Mercedes in the constructor’s race. If some cash flush technology company wants to get their name out to a broader audience, you might get some value offering sponsorship to Sauber.

Red Bull truly misses the 2011 blown diffusers, but there also may be some underlying team problems. While the RB 8 is quick and Webber and Vettel are competitive, last year’s dominance is a distant memory. My team concern is Vettel’s alternator problems. A team with Red Bull’s resources should not have a simple part fail twice.

It seems FIA race stewards are watching too many NASCAR races because Sunday’s rulings were woefully inconsistent. If Vettel was issued a drive-through penalty for pushing Alonso off the track, why wasn’t Paul di Resta punished for forcing Bruno Senna off the track in similar fashion. Be careful FIA, NASCAR already owns “Boys have at it!”.
Anybody notice that when the race is run almost accident free, Pastor Maldonado’s is rarely mentioned?

Ironically, the three cars Grosjean destroyed at Spa finished on the podium at Monza.
I think fans should start a pool for what excuse Ferrari will offer to explain why Felipe Massa simply allows Fernando Alonso to easily pass him and gain a spot. This week’s “Save your tires” was one of Ferrari’s better efforts. It was a miracle worthy of Vatican submission  that as soon as Alonso was safely by, Massa was told that his tire issue was resolved and to continue racing.

A phrase you will not hear this year “Fernando, Felipe is faster than you!”

Lastly, the silly season is nearly upon us and this year could be sillier than most. This year’s key domino is Lewis Hamilton. If Lewis leaves McLaren for Mercedes, and Michael goes to Ferrari evicting Massa, does Kimi Raikkonen return to McLaren? The problem is allegedly Kimi met a performance clause in his contract that will necessitate McLaren writing a big check to Lotus if Kimi wants a return engagement. Add in that top teams have an interest in Force India’s Paul di Resta and Robert Kubica’s possible return to Formula 1 after a year’s absence due to a broken arm suffered in a rally crash and you have the ultimate musical chairs game. Some big-name, probably Massa, is going to be hurt and looking for work. But for the fans, the incalculable permutations of driver changes could make this off-season one of the most entertaining silly seasons in recent memory.
Sadly we bid adieu to Europe as the F1 circus heads east to the Pacific Rim which means until Austin in the middle of November, F1 weekends are exercises in sleep deprivation. The joys of being a F1 fan in the United States. But, we wear that badge with honor.

Spa-The Perfect Race Circuit? I Think So!

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The long Formula One August break finally ends this weekend when the F1 circus hits the best circuit anywhere: Spa—Francorchamps, better known as Spa.

Why is this track nestled in the middle of the Ardennes forest so beloved?

Spa doesn’t have Monaco’s glamour. It is not Silverstone, the spiritual home of the modern Formula 1 car. Nor is it Monza, the Ferrari home track that Ferrari fanatics, better known as the Tifosi, transform into a three day Ferrari love fest every year. But if you conduct a poll among the drivers to name their favorite track, a significant majority would say Spa.

Why?

Spa is the longest track, almost 7 km, on the Formula 1 calendar. Drivers cite that the long lap gives them a sensation that they are traveling somewhere. Each lap requires the driver to utilize his complete skill set to navigate the track successfully.  Each lap contains superfast 200 MPH straights, astronaut type G forces while breaking, tight hairpins, high-speed reverse camber turns, uphill and downhill elements, and the Holy Grail of corners: Eau Rouge. Running full throttle through Eau Rouge is considered by some the ultimate test of bravery. Others consider it an act of madness!

The Ardennes forest’s weather patterns virtually guarantee that it will rain sometime over the race weekend. What sets Spa apart from its brethren is that due to its immense length, the weather at one end of the track might be completely different than the other. It is not unusual for it to be raining at Malmedy while La Source is bathed is bright sunshine. Few things make a Formula One fan happier than waking up to a wet race. A race with changing conditions at a great racetrack is a double win.

Lastly, Spa is a snapshot of the past. Most modern tracks attempt to maximize revenue and ensure fan safety by requiring fans to sit in grandstand seats. While Spa has its share of grandstand seats and luxury boxes, there are still a significant number of fans who sit among the rocks and trees to watch the race. I realize that safety is the highest priority in today’s Formula 1, but it is still nice to see remnants of the past.

The current layout of Spa is vastly different, and safer, than the original track. When Spa first opened in 1922, one lap was 14 km long and connected Spa, Malmedy, and Stavelot.  If you want to see how cars raced on the original course, rent John Frankenheimer’s 1966 movie Grand Prix. Frankenheimer filmed an actual Grand Prix race for the movie. And yes, it rained!

There has been some discussion about Spa alternating its date with Circuit Paul Ricard in France in a cost savings move. I hope to God this never happens! Thankfully the discussions have been tabled for the foreseeable future.  I consider a Formula 1 season without Spa the equivalent of NASCAR without Daytona or IndyCar without the Indy 500. It should never happen! Along with Monaco, Silverstone, and Monza, Spa must be part of any Formula 1 calendar.

After all, how can you omit the perfect racetrack?

Bristol Was A Fun Event…..

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Just another night at Bristol right?

Boys, and girls, have at it!

Michael Buffer whipping the crowd into a Bud Light fueled frenzy.

Driver intros to music that thanks to the RIAA, fans watching TV could not hear.

All that was missing was Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix reprising their Gladiator roles

It was a fun event, but a lousy race!

Sure, cars zipped around the reconfigured Bristol Coliseum, I mean race track, at high speeds, but I saw precious little racing. 11 wrecks and 2 debris cautions causing  87 laps, nearly 20% of the race, to be run under caution is not my idea of excitement.  I think the first “debris caution” was Joey Logano’s fault for passing too many cars.

In the end, Hamlin won in a walk after pushing Carl Edwards out of the way to take the lead.

I realize that the many fans enjoyed Saturday night’s events, some calling it the best race of the year. What that tells me is that NASCAR has two types of fans: Race fans and Bristol fans.

Race fans want to see close racing, clean passing, creative pit strategy, and ideally a photo finish at the end. While wrecks happen, a race fan is not excited by cars hit the wall. A prime example of a great race was Sunday’s Moto GP race where there was two clean passes for the lead on the final lap. The Sprint Cup Watkins Glen race two weeks ago also qualifies.

On the flip side, Bristol fans revel in the beating and banging aspect of NASCAR. Clean passes are for wimps as real men run over their competitor to gain a spot. The adage “Rubbin’ is Racing!” is not a marketing phrase, is the essence of the Bristol fan’s soul.  Eventually the aggressive driving leads to wrecks and inevitably tempers explode. When Tony Stewart threw his helmet at Matt Kenseth’s car, Bristol fans reached Nirvana.  It also validated Michael Buffer’s appearance for the pre-race festivities.

While I am firmly in the Race Fan camp, I am neither against the Bristol event nor the fans who love the event. Everybody needs at least one guilty pleasure in their life, I laughed when Stewart tossed his helmet, but at no time did I feel the event was evolving into a race.  Conversely, Bristol fans need to accept that many fans do not enjoy the Bristol event. If they wanted to attend a wreck fest, going to the local demolition derby is far easier on the family budget. Also, the 500  laps gets tedious and having 20% of them run at highway speeds is not entertaining. It is sometimes hard to believe that Bristol is one of the shortest races, distance wise, on the calendar at a tad over 250 miles. But the event is appointment TV for many and ultimately, NASCAR is about getting fans to watch in TV.

Thankfully, the Formula 1 circus is returning from it August hiatus at Spa this weekend.  To me, Spa is the Bloody Mary hangover cure for the Bristol debauchery. Spa will cleanse my soul and allow me to return to a normal life.

I’m just not sure what normal is anymore!

Formula 1 First Half Report

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The 2012 Formula 1 season has been full of surprises: 7 different winners, two first time winners, a resurgent Ferrari competing for the constructors title, Williams nearly burning down the garage after their win in Barcelona, and even an exciting race in Valencia.

Everybody found something to enjoy and dislike this season.

Here is  my team-by-team break down for the first half of the season.

McLaren

In an attempt resolve McLaren’s tire changing problems, McLaren’s Pit Stop coach issued Vodafone IPhones to the tire changers that flash “Lefty Loosey Righty Tighty” during pit stops. Mechanics started a race day pool on who can come closest to the time when Jenson Button proclaims “No Grip”. Rumor has it that Lewis won the Silverstone pool with “Reconnaissance Lap”.

Red Bull

Even though Mark Webber is leading Vettel in the World Driver Championship, he is still the number 2 driver. How do I know? Look at Webber’s car and what do you see?   The number 2.

Ferrari

Ferrari’s dramatic improvement is not related to Alonso using his connections to secure Renault engines for Ferrari.  While there is no proof, nobody can explain why Flavio Briatore’s has an apartment in Maranello. Massa is learning the difference between the terms  “tight” and “loose” for his next career stop.

Mercedes

Tough times for the Brackley Bunch. Nico Rosberg’s hair care sponsor is complaining about his lack of camera time and Michael Schumacher is wondering why Ross Brawn can’t go to the FIA to get rule exemptions for Mercedes like he did at Ferrari.

Lotus

For a team that hasn’t won, Lotus is receiving critical acclaim for its season. But many critics are following Kimi on his pub crawls trying to get a story, or free drinks. Lotus’ lack of winning could be related to questionable driver feedback.  Grosjean is a neophyte and Kimi is being Kimi: Quiet unless he is at the bar ordering champagne.

Williams

Up and down season for Williams. The up was Pastor Maldonado winning his first race. The down was Pastor Maldonado repeatedly testing Frank Williams’s patience and wallet by destroying cars. Sir Frank must be considering sending a bill to Chavez for all the damage.  If Checkers or Wreckers is Maldonado’s creed, Pastor might want to review Juan Pablo Montoya’s career to see what happens when you regularly wreck cars.

Sauber

The under funded Ferrari junior varsity has been impressive. Kobayashi is opening an overtaking driving school that will be mandatory for all F1 drivers on the grid. After he finishes with F1, he is off to America to show NASCAR’s dry track only boys and girls how to entertain the fans. Sergio Perez almost knows the Italian National Anthem after listening to Rosetta Stone Italian levels 1-3.

Caterham

Whenever I hear Caterham, I think of the word crater. Not sure why but it is probably related to Caterham’s elevated pre-season expectations that created a huge crater when they crashed and burned. That said, when Maldonado graduates to multi car retirement wrecks. Caterham will score a point, provided they are not involved.

Force India

Force India’s have mirrored Vijay Mallya’s business fortunes, which is not good.  Vijay is many things, but won’t be the richest man in the world anytime soon. I am not a marketing whiz, but naming an airline after a beer is probably not the best way to gain public trust.  But Indian fans don’t care as long as Vijay stays away from the most important team in India: The Indian National Cricket team.

Toro Rosso

The Red Bull School House team is struggling without Jamie Alguersuari spinning tunes in the garage. STR asked for permission to borrow Jamie during live BBC races but was turned down.  It doesn’t help that STR’s Ferrari engines are stamped “Massa-Monaco 2011”

HRT and Marussia

If these guys really need to attend all the races in style, they should just write a check to Bernie so they can get a good box at all the races. It’s cheaper than building non-competitive cars all season just to get the cool seats. The only reason these teams don’t finish 21, 22, 23 and 24th each week is because Pastor Maldonado eliminates a driver or two before their cars retire

 

NASCAR at Halftime

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July 4th has come and gone and here is the half time report brought to you by Bruton Smith’s Committee for Mandatory Cautions. Vince McMahon, Treasurer.  Other than Dale Junior winning, there have been few surprises on track. Conversation generally follows the usual fan complaints: The 48 team cheating, all things Junior, Toyota doesn’t belong in NASCAR, too many commercials, too many bogus yellows, not enough yellows, and Danica mania.  If you reduce all the chatter to one sentence, other than Junior winning, NASCAR fans are never happy!

But listed below are my first half highlights. Opinions are my own.

I guess Roush’s money isn’t good enough for Matt Kenseth. Insiders report that Matt wants the security of a fully funded team. Sources tell me that Matt didn’t like the “You will fly with Jack to save money” clause in the proposed new contract.

Dale Junior finally ended the national nightmare that was the 4-year, 143 race winless streak. For one week, all was right in NASCAR. I hope everybody enjoyed the holiday because there are no plans for another one anytime soon.

Oh Allmendinger, what did you do? Sudafed? Jager Bombs with Red Bull?  Not sure why, but here seems to be a curse placed on Penske 2nd driver. First Mayfield was caught doing Meth, Kurt Busch had multiple public meltdowns and now you are flagged with excessive stimulants. Drink your coffee black next time!

How embarrassing must it be for David Ragan, Dave Blaney , David Gilliand and Landon Cassill to start all 18 races yet still trail old man Mark Martin who only has 12 starts.  I didn’t see the rule that prohibited drivers named David to be ahead of Mark Martin in the standings.

Stewart Hass Racing is having a good season with 4 wins. But losing The Army sponsorship will hurt next year and might force Newman to seek greener pastures. Papa Johns, Dominos, or KFC should be calling now, as they would be ideal replacements. Look at Tony and Ryan. Who better to promote the product?

Kevin Harvick should pay attention to Jeff Gordon and Carl Edwards. Starting a family is not conducive to winning. All the baby pictures taped to the dashboard weigh down the car.

On Harvick’s baby, I hope it was born with the Rheems or Jimmy John’s fire suit. There are laws against minors promoting beer, especially the second worst beer made in the US! For the record, Bud Light is the worst.

Bruton Smith wants mandatory cautions. Why? NASCAR’s unhealthy obsession with cautions is already hurting the product and you are advocating more? 70,000 empty seats at your marquee night race should be evidence enough that you along with the France family need to devise creative solutions to get NASCAR back on track. Want TV breaks? Heat races for points and invert the field for the feature. Guarantees action for the fans, ad time for TV, and returns to the roots of American racing. But to see how it works, you need to attend a race at a track you don’t own. Try something new!

Racing Was Fun This Weekend. Surprise Winners Everywhere!

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It was a busy racing weekend. NASCAR’s Left Turn Only Coalition was lamenting that this was NASCAR’s Road Course Weekend with the Nationwide kids competing against the ringers at Road America and the Sprint Cup boys at Sonoma. Formula 1 fans were fluffing their pillows in anticipation of the annual Valencia snooze fest.  IndyCar fans were emulating their Formula 1 friends not because it would be a dull race, IndyCar oval races rarely are, but that  IndyCar scheduled the race with a 9PM local time start.

The results surprised many people. Truck regular and former F1 Crashgate participant Nelson Piquet Jr. won the Nationwide race. Ryan Hunter-Reay won the rain delayed and attrition filled Indy Car race around 1 AM. Fernando Alonso added to an already wild Spanish football celebration by winning a surprisingly exciting Valencia Grand Prix. Clint Boyer proved that growing up in a state designed with a T-square was great preparation for winning on a road course.

Here is the breakdown of each race.

NASCAR Nationwide

Nelson Piquet’s Brazilian flag waving victory lane celebration irked The America First faction of the NASCAR community. They considered Piquet’s celebration disrespectful to an “American” Sport. I think the real issue is that Nelson speaks impeccable English and can find Brazil on a map that doesn’t have any names printed.

After seeing the slow marshal response to cars stuck in gravel traps cause multiple full course cautions, Monaco marshals all agreed that they could do a better job:  as drivers.

It can’t be an official Nationwide Road Course race unless Jacques Villeneuve does a stupid move and punts a contender. He did it last year in Canada with Marcos Ambrose and this year he graduated to the major leagues by punting media darling Danica Patrick on the last lap.  Jacques is fortunate that Tony Eury Sr. is not Danica’s crew chief. If the elder Eury was there instead of his kid, Jacques would have been flying back to Canada non-stop on the power from Old Man Eury’s right fist.

IndyCar

IndyCar’s marketing team needs to understand that just because a race starts on Saturday and ends on Sunday does not make it a two-day endurance event.

220 miles? Even a Honda Engine can make that distance provided it starts the race. Sorry Dario.

Note for Iowa promoter: Attendance will improve if the race doesn’t finish a few hours before fans need to be home to milk cows and tend to other farm chores.

Formula 1

Imagine the odds you could of gotten if you bet that Valencia would be an exciting race. Usually post-Valencia discussion revolves around when and where you took your nap, not the passing, crashing, and passion of a hometown winner.

 

Since Felipe Massa had no chance at a podium finish, Ferrari enlisted its alumni association to fill the remaining slots. No truth to the rumor that the podium needed reinforcement to handle the weight of Fernando, Kimi, and Michael’s wallets.

 

 

Did Pastor Maldonado graduate from the Jacques Villeneuve racing school?  If he did, he graduated with honors as he punted Lewis Hamilton out of the race late in the Grand Prix. Villeneuve must have smiled from his Danica proof bunker.

NASCAR Sprint Cup

Sonoma! Lefts! Rights! Ups! Downs! Few things are better than a NASCAR road course race. It is fun to watch drivers compete outside their comfort zone in cars that are ill-suited for road racing. To be fair, top NASCAR drivers not named Dale Jr. are very good on road courses, but the field fillers compete with the Keystone Cops for excitement.

Ironically Clint Bowyer won the race in a somewhat dominating fashion.  The irony lies in the fact that the only turns Clint saw growing up in Kansas were exit ramps and intersections.

NASCAR doesn’t like wrecks, but they love the color yellow. I can’t take credit for the statement but it resonated this weekend.  All day, NASCAR resisted the urge to revert to its oval roots by throwing full course yellows for every minor spin. But when Paul Menard spun late in the race in a bight yellow car, NASCAR instinctually called for a full course caution. Coincidently, Clint Bowyer was on his way to a deserved easy victory. Ahh but no conspiracy theories!

 

 

Why the IndyCar Race in China was Cancelled

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The new Qingdao mayor forced the cancellation of this year’s IndyCar race because in conflicted with Tsingtao’s big beer festival. Every race fan knows that beer and racing offer a synergy that is difficult to beat, especially when the beer is free! However, I was able to mole around and uncovered several different rumors on why the new mayor forced the race cancellation.

Here they are!

The Mayor looked at the entry list and saw the names, Dixon, Franchitti, Power, and Hildebrand. He expected to see Vettel, Alonso, Hamilton and Schumacher. It seems IndyCar doesn’t have the same star power as Formula 1.

The Chinese intelligence community believed that the National Guard car driver by J.R. Hildebrand is a CIA front to gain intelligence data for the United States. However, the only information of merit is the Tsingtao beer recipe. Note to CIA: That recipe is not worth stealing.

Having Go Daddy as a prominent sponsor does not sit well with the Ministry responsible for information management. God forbid a Chinese citizen gets access to an uncensored internet.

Chinese officials are concerned that Will Power’s middle finger salute at Loudon last year was not punished by jail time. Local Chinese law enforcement agencies fear that Power’s gesture might embolden local youth to demonstrate for silly ideals such as freedom of speech and criminal due process. Free beer could trigger another Tiananmen Square event.

Chinese economic ministers are concerned that China has no manufacturing input into an IndyCar. The fear is if US companies realize they can produce competitive goods using US workers, US companies would repatriate production, thereby destroying China’s economy. WalMart is lobbying hard on behalf of the Chinese.

Danica! Where is Danica?